1
00:00:47,620 --> 00:00:49,020
Oh, Jean, come here quick.

2
00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:51,410
Oh, dear.

3
00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:52,730
Look at that, eh?

4
00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:55,750
They knew how to make chairs in those
days, didn't they?

5
00:00:56,201 --> 00:00:59,039
Oh, that's lovely, isn't it?

6
00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:00,090
Go on, you have a go.

7
00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:04,280
Oh, it is nice and comfortable.

8
00:01:04,281 --> 00:01:08,019
It's a pity you didn't let Barry look at
it before you bought it.

9
00:01:08,020 --> 00:01:11,379
I do not need that long -haired, cow
-faced boyfriend of yours to tell me

10
00:01:11,380 --> 00:01:12,430
it.

11
00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:14,180
Well, it wasn't cheap.

12
00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:17,590
I mean, after all, it is a genuine
Georgian mahogany antique.

13
00:01:17,820 --> 00:01:19,220
Not Georgian, Daddy.

14
00:01:19,420 --> 00:01:20,470
It's Regency.

15
00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:23,530
All right, then it's a genuine Regency
mahogany antique.

16
00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:26,480
I don't think it's mahogany either. I
think it's beach.

17
00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:32,560
That is mahogany. It's beach, Daddy. You
can tell by the weight. It's mahogany.

18
00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:33,860
You can tell by the colour.

19
00:01:33,980 --> 00:01:35,200
Yes, but feel the weight.

20
00:01:35,780 --> 00:01:39,030
Do you think you should have had it
weighed before you bought it?

21
00:01:40,590 --> 00:01:43,480
You don't buy antiques by the pound.
They're not sausages.

22
00:01:45,370 --> 00:01:46,850
It's full of woodworm holes.

23
00:01:46,851 --> 00:01:48,169
Well, there you are.

24
00:01:48,170 --> 00:01:50,729
That's probably why it doesn't weigh as
much as it should.

25
00:01:50,730 --> 00:01:53,230
It hasn't got woodworm, has it?

26
00:01:53,231 --> 00:01:56,729
Well, of course it had woodworm. All old
chairs had woodworm. That's how you

27
00:01:56,730 --> 00:01:57,769
know when they're antiques.

28
00:01:57,770 --> 00:01:59,210
Well, this one's still got it.

29
00:02:00,390 --> 00:02:01,630
Stop banging it about.

30
00:02:02,130 --> 00:02:04,300
Look, there's dust coming out of the
holes.

31
00:02:04,370 --> 00:02:06,230
That means there's live woodworm.

32
00:02:06,550 --> 00:02:08,210
Sid, you've got to get rid of it.

33
00:02:09,229 --> 00:02:10,549
live woodworm in the house.

34
00:02:10,789 --> 00:02:14,159
It'll destroy everything. The whole
house will be infested with it.

35
00:02:14,270 --> 00:02:15,650
Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.

36
00:02:15,651 --> 00:02:17,929
I'll get some woodworm killer off Barry.

37
00:02:17,930 --> 00:02:19,010
He's got gallons of it.

38
00:02:19,290 --> 00:02:20,450
Has he got woodworm?

39
00:02:21,450 --> 00:02:23,430
He could have anything under that beard.

40
00:02:24,410 --> 00:02:27,270
He uses it on some of the furniture in
his shop.

41
00:02:27,630 --> 00:02:29,740
Well, you're not to go around to that
shop.

42
00:02:29,970 --> 00:02:32,980
Oh, Blimey, it's only woodworm. It's not
the bubonic plague.

43
00:02:32,981 --> 00:02:36,689
Go get your boyfriend to get some of
that stuff and I'll fix it when I come

44
00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:39,189
tonight. And just give that chair a
little respect.

45
00:02:39,190 --> 00:02:41,850
Whatever she says, that is a mahogany
antique.

46
00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:44,800
You see, my darling, I've got nowhere to
stay.

47
00:02:44,801 --> 00:02:48,269
Well, can't you find another room? Oh,
it's not so easy. Once they find out

48
00:02:48,270 --> 00:02:49,870
about Jason, nobody wants me.

49
00:02:50,150 --> 00:02:51,230
And he's only a baby.

50
00:02:51,670 --> 00:02:52,970
Well, how big is he?

51
00:02:53,310 --> 00:02:54,360
Nine foot six.

52
00:02:54,510 --> 00:02:55,590
Nine foot six?

53
00:02:55,870 --> 00:02:57,370
Well, he's not big for a python.

54
00:02:57,550 --> 00:02:58,750
Anyway, you've seen him.

55
00:02:58,751 --> 00:03:00,989
Yeah, but only on stage when you do your
act.

56
00:03:00,990 --> 00:03:04,789
Oh, I just don't know what to do. I
suppose I could book at the hotel, but

57
00:03:04,790 --> 00:03:06,770
very expensive when you're not working.

58
00:03:06,970 --> 00:03:08,590
Well, if it wasn't for Jason...

59
00:03:08,591 --> 00:03:10,799
You could stay at our house for a couple
of days.

60
00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:14,500
You've seen my act. He just goes around
me. He doesn't hurt me.

61
00:03:14,501 --> 00:03:18,919
No, no, Mum and Dad would never allow
Jason in the house. But they don't have

62
00:03:18,920 --> 00:03:22,350
know about him. I keep him in a basket
for two days and feed him at night.

63
00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:26,500
Oh, Mike, darling, I would be so
grateful to you.

64
00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:28,170
Would you?

65
00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:33,660
Of course, Mike. She can stay as long as
she wants to.

66
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:36,260
I've got the stuff, Mummy. It's in here.

67
00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:37,530
Oh, God.

68
00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:41,130
Inject them with it.

69
00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:44,740
Oh, Sally, they're so tiny, we'd never
even catch them.

70
00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:48,100
No, Mummy, you inject the holes.

71
00:03:48,820 --> 00:03:49,870
Oh.

72
00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:51,900
Yes, Mike, what were you saying?

73
00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:55,040
Yes, bring around whenever you want to.

74
00:03:55,041 --> 00:03:56,199
Too much.

75
00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:57,250
See you.

76
00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:01,370
It's OK.

77
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:03,840
Oh, Mike, darling, thank you.

78
00:04:04,500 --> 00:04:06,000
Did you tell them about Jason?

79
00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:09,660
Not likely. And if they ask you what's
in that hamper...

80
00:04:09,900 --> 00:04:11,400
You tell him it's your costume.

81
00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:12,760
But that's what he is.

82
00:04:13,220 --> 00:04:14,270
My costume.

83
00:04:14,620 --> 00:04:15,880
Okay, babes, let's split.

84
00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:24,410
Hello, darling.

85
00:04:24,620 --> 00:04:27,100
Hello. What's this thing in the hall
here?

86
00:04:27,420 --> 00:04:28,640
It belongs to Zoe.

87
00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:30,250
Zoe?

88
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:31,450
Friend of Mike.

89
00:04:31,451 --> 00:04:34,379
She's staying with us for a few days
till she can get a room.

90
00:04:34,380 --> 00:04:36,610
What's she do for a living? Take in
washing?

91
00:04:37,540 --> 00:04:38,590
She's a dancer.

92
00:04:43,140 --> 00:04:45,130
She's very nice. You won't be any
bother.

93
00:04:45,131 --> 00:04:48,239
Oh, thank you very much. You're doing a
good job, dear.

94
00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:50,500
That'll fix them. Now we won't have to
burn it.

95
00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:54,080
Have you been drinking?

96
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:56,820
No, it's this stuff.

97
00:04:57,860 --> 00:04:59,100
What are you doing?

98
00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:01,000
I'm treating the woodworm.

99
00:05:01,740 --> 00:05:03,560
They can treat their bloody selves.

100
00:05:11,170 --> 00:05:12,220
What's that, then?

101
00:05:13,570 --> 00:05:14,620
Oh, Sid.

102
00:05:16,230 --> 00:05:17,490
Here's the rambunctious.

103
00:05:18,230 --> 00:05:20,930
I wonder what that one did to them.

104
00:05:21,270 --> 00:05:22,650
I wouldn't worry about that.

105
00:05:22,651 --> 00:05:25,769
They're probably all in their little
holes, staggering about, singing Nellie

106
00:05:25,770 --> 00:05:26,820
Dean.

107
00:05:27,161 --> 00:05:29,129
Oh, hi, Dad.

108
00:05:29,130 --> 00:05:30,749
I hope you don't mind about Zoe staying.

109
00:05:30,750 --> 00:05:33,160
No, that's all right. Where is she?
Taking a bath.

110
00:05:33,161 --> 00:05:36,569
I'll fix the camp bed up in Sally's
room. No, it's all right, Mum. She's

111
00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:37,309
in my room.

112
00:05:37,310 --> 00:05:38,360
No, she's not.

113
00:05:39,170 --> 00:05:40,550
We're not having any of that.

114
00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:41,960
Why don't you listen, Dad?

115
00:05:42,100 --> 00:05:44,280
I shall sleep down here on the sofa.

116
00:05:44,620 --> 00:05:45,670
That's different.

117
00:05:45,980 --> 00:05:47,540
Why can't you share with Sally?

118
00:05:47,700 --> 00:05:48,750
Because of our pie.

119
00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:51,010
All right.

120
00:05:51,620 --> 00:05:53,820
Yes. What sort of pie is it?

121
00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:55,880
Uh, pork?

122
00:05:56,540 --> 00:05:57,590
Pork?

123
00:05:57,780 --> 00:06:00,760
Yes. You see, she's a compulsive eater.

124
00:06:01,340 --> 00:06:03,260
That's right. She's a compulsive eater.

125
00:06:03,900 --> 00:06:05,600
She sits up all night eating.

126
00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:09,500
And, uh, on the way home, we went out
and we bought this pie.

127
00:06:09,501 --> 00:06:11,019
That big.

128
00:06:11,020 --> 00:06:13,250
And she'll be sitting up all night
eating it.

129
00:06:13,251 --> 00:06:14,899
Get away.

130
00:06:14,900 --> 00:06:19,019
Really. And munching away and making all
sorts of incredible noises. And you

131
00:06:19,020 --> 00:06:22,379
might hear them and you might think to
yourself, I wonder what they are.

132
00:06:22,380 --> 00:06:24,020
And she keeps it up all night.

133
00:06:24,021 --> 00:06:27,679
I mean, if you're in the same room with
her at night, you can't get a wink of

134
00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:28,730
sleep.

135
00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:30,090
How do you know?

136
00:06:30,091 --> 00:06:33,559
Come off it, Dad. It's all right, all
right.

137
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:34,610
Tell me later.

138
00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:37,910
You find some very fortuitous birds, you
do.

139
00:06:37,911 --> 00:06:40,839
Well, now you do. decided where she's
going to sleep. Will you take her things

140
00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:41,890
upstairs? Yes.

141
00:06:41,891 --> 00:06:43,319
Come on.

142
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:44,370
No, Dad!

143
00:06:44,820 --> 00:06:47,560
Zoe and I can manage.

144
00:06:47,860 --> 00:06:50,450
I thought she was having a bath. When
she's finished.

145
00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:55,479
Sid, will you take the basket upstairs
before someone trips over it, please?

146
00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:56,819
heard what your mother said.

147
00:06:56,820 --> 00:06:57,659
Excuse me.

148
00:06:57,660 --> 00:06:58,710
Come on.

149
00:07:09,260 --> 00:07:10,460
What's she got in there?

150
00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:11,770
Only her costume.

151
00:07:12,700 --> 00:07:14,900
Costume? The one she dances in.

152
00:07:15,340 --> 00:07:16,390
Dances in?

153
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:18,690
It's a bleeding miracle she can stand in
it.

154
00:07:19,180 --> 00:07:20,640
I might dance in it.

155
00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:22,330
Come on.

156
00:07:25,100 --> 00:07:28,140
What is she, a weightlifter?

157
00:07:33,700 --> 00:07:36,060
There you go, Dad. Put it over there,
will you?

158
00:07:39,830 --> 00:07:41,350
Be careful, will you?

159
00:07:41,351 --> 00:07:42,969
What do you mean, be careful?

160
00:07:42,970 --> 00:07:45,560
Well, you shouldn't drop it like that.
It's fragile.

161
00:07:50,050 --> 00:07:51,100
What was that?

162
00:07:51,830 --> 00:07:52,880
Nothing.

163
00:07:53,090 --> 00:07:54,140
Nothing?

164
00:07:54,550 --> 00:07:55,600
It's bumping about.

165
00:07:55,601 --> 00:07:57,189
There's something bumping about in
there.

166
00:07:57,190 --> 00:07:58,029
No, there's not.

167
00:07:58,030 --> 00:07:59,080
Yes, there is.

168
00:08:02,210 --> 00:08:03,350
It's just done it again.

169
00:08:03,410 --> 00:08:04,530
It's only a costume.

170
00:08:05,790 --> 00:08:08,440
You've been bouncing about when she's
not even in it.

171
00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:11,260
See, Dad, it's made of rubber.

172
00:08:11,261 --> 00:08:14,899
And, like, when you dropped it like you
did, I mean, it's bound to bounce back

173
00:08:14,900 --> 00:08:15,950
up again, isn't it?

174
00:08:16,580 --> 00:08:17,630
See?

175
00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:18,930
Stopped.

176
00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:21,890
No!

177
00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:26,780
You might damage it. How can I damage it
if it's made of rubber?

178
00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:29,530
Yes.

179
00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:31,480
Oh, hello.

180
00:08:31,940 --> 00:08:33,659
Oh, this is my father.

181
00:08:34,460 --> 00:08:35,510
How do you do?

182
00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:38,639
How do you do? Oh, yeah.

183
00:08:39,659 --> 00:08:43,480
Just looking at your basket, there's
something moving about in there.

184
00:08:43,820 --> 00:08:45,080
Yes, it's your headdress.

185
00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:46,800
The one made of rubber.

186
00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:49,350
I hope we haven't damaged anything in
there.

187
00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:50,740
Oh, no, I'm sure you haven't.

188
00:08:50,741 --> 00:08:56,319
Don't you think we ought to open it and
have a look? No, no, no, it'll be fine.

189
00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:58,899
And now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like
to get dressed.

190
00:08:58,900 --> 00:09:00,220
Do you mind if I have a look?

191
00:09:01,020 --> 00:09:02,760
You mean you want to watch me dress?

192
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,280
Oh, no, no, I... There's nothing wrong.

193
00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:08,160
Oh, no, Mum, nothing at all.

194
00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:10,520
Dad just wants to watch Zoe get dressed.

195
00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:12,650
You?

196
00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:16,810
I'm just looking at her thing. She's
bouncing around.

197
00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:19,980
Let me out.

198
00:09:20,820 --> 00:09:24,619
I think you'd better leave. Yes, well, I
am going. I just wanted to see her

199
00:09:24,620 --> 00:09:25,670
thing. That's enough.

200
00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:31,460
Yes, well, I went with the boozer, if
anybody wants me.

201
00:09:32,020 --> 00:09:33,420
That's not very likely.

202
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,730
There's something very peculiar about
that bird.

203
00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:39,010
Why? What does she do?

204
00:09:39,470 --> 00:09:45,169
Well, she sits up all night munching
pork pies and she's got this thing in a

205
00:09:45,170 --> 00:09:47,270
basket. What sort of thing?

206
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:48,720
I don't know.

207
00:09:49,050 --> 00:09:52,270
But it weighs 200 weight and it keeps
bumping about.

208
00:09:53,890 --> 00:09:55,810
Oh, blimey, sir, it could be anything.

209
00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:57,080
I know.

210
00:09:57,270 --> 00:09:58,470
Perhaps it's a dead body.

211
00:09:58,850 --> 00:10:01,140
How could it be dead if it keeps moving
about?

212
00:10:01,141 --> 00:10:02,229
No, no.

213
00:10:02,230 --> 00:10:05,789
There was this old Boris Karloff, the
one on the telly. Oh, God, blimey, can

214
00:10:05,790 --> 00:10:07,170
keep this conversation on?

215
00:10:07,171 --> 00:10:09,149
reasonably intelligent level.

216
00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:10,829
All right, so it was only a suggestion.

217
00:10:10,830 --> 00:10:12,929
I mean, why don't you ask her, point
blank?

218
00:10:12,930 --> 00:10:13,980
I did.

219
00:10:14,910 --> 00:10:16,050
But she's dead cunning.

220
00:10:16,610 --> 00:10:19,680
She manoeuvred me into a very, very
embarrassing situation.

221
00:10:20,090 --> 00:10:22,130
What sort of an embarrassing situation?

222
00:10:22,870 --> 00:10:25,630
Well, Jean thinks I fancy her.

223
00:10:25,631 --> 00:10:26,629
Do you?

224
00:10:26,630 --> 00:10:28,670
Of course I don't fancy her!

225
00:10:29,910 --> 00:10:34,549
Could you fancy a bird who sits up in
bed all night munching pork pies and

226
00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:36,170
something horrible in a basket?

227
00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:39,020
Are you sweet?

228
00:10:39,090 --> 00:10:40,140
What?

229
00:10:40,430 --> 00:10:42,900
Supposing she don't eat them pork pies
herself?

230
00:10:45,830 --> 00:10:49,670
You mean she feeds them to whatever's in
that basket?

231
00:10:50,890 --> 00:10:55,670
What sort of things live in a basket and
eat pork pies?

232
00:11:01,030 --> 00:11:04,630
Mice? Have you ever seen a mouse that
weighed 200, Mike? No, I haven't.

233
00:11:04,890 --> 00:11:06,250
And I don't bloody want to.

234
00:11:08,230 --> 00:11:09,280
I see.

235
00:11:09,350 --> 00:11:11,520
I see, supposing she's got a bloke in
there.

236
00:11:11,521 --> 00:11:14,089
What's she got a bloke for? She's
already got Mike.

237
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:16,740
Well, there's only one way to find out,
isn't there?

238
00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:20,150
Open the basket and have a look.

239
00:11:54,041 --> 00:11:56,199
Woodworm to me, Mummy.

240
00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:57,260
Oh, dear.

241
00:11:58,140 --> 00:12:01,320
Hello? Is that the woodworm
extermination people?

242
00:12:02,260 --> 00:12:04,720
Or could you send someone round right
away?

243
00:12:05,380 --> 00:12:08,820
Yes. Mrs Abbott to Howard Road.

244
00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:10,860
It's very urgent.

245
00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:12,370
Thank you.

246
00:12:36,241 --> 00:12:39,599
Do you think one of those keys will fit?

247
00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:42,659
Well, I hope so. See, don't we? It's an
ordinary padlock, isn't it?

248
00:12:42,660 --> 00:12:43,710
Yes.

249
00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:48,840
Can you hear anything?

250
00:12:49,680 --> 00:12:50,730
No.

251
00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:54,560
But if you move that basket, it'll start
bumping about.

252
00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:58,640
Hello in there?

253
00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:02,170
Can you hear me?

254
00:13:03,860 --> 00:13:04,910
Could be asleep.

255
00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:07,520
Why don't you give it a shake?

256
00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:16,000
That's funny.

257
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:23,280
Why didn't you say something?

258
00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:26,450
Well, I mean, it's obvious, isn't it?
He's gay, isn't he?

259
00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:30,770
Hang on.

260
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:34,130
Hello?

261
00:13:40,910 --> 00:13:41,960
Can you hear me?

262
00:13:44,850 --> 00:13:48,550
If there is a human being in there, not
twice.

263
00:13:54,490 --> 00:13:55,570
Four times enough.

264
00:13:56,090 --> 00:13:57,140
What does that mean?

265
00:13:57,490 --> 00:13:58,540
Must be two of them.

266
00:13:59,790 --> 00:14:01,290
Can't have two of them in there.

267
00:14:04,950 --> 00:14:08,090
Excuse me, but you're confusing us.

268
00:14:08,860 --> 00:14:11,630
If it's just one of you, would you mind
knocking twice?

269
00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:19,099
Whoever you are, we've come to help you.
Yes, don't worry, mate, we'll get you

270
00:14:19,100 --> 00:14:20,720
out. Get busy with the keys. Come on.

271
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,050
Well, hurry up!

272
00:14:24,260 --> 00:14:26,120
I'm sorry, Sid, my hands keep shaking.

273
00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:30,420
Sid, is that you banging about up there?

274
00:14:30,421 --> 00:14:34,119
I'm going to see what she wants. You
get... Keep going. All right, Sid, I'll

275
00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:35,170
keep trying.

276
00:14:39,530 --> 00:14:41,270
Darling, I don't want to alarm you.

277
00:14:41,610 --> 00:14:43,720
Do you mean we've got it upstairs as
well?

278
00:14:43,730 --> 00:14:44,780
What?

279
00:14:45,110 --> 00:14:46,530
Woodworms. No, no, no, no.

280
00:14:46,531 --> 00:14:48,709
Well, what have we got up there?

281
00:14:48,710 --> 00:14:52,129
No, darling, hang on a minute. You've
got to prepare yourself for what could

282
00:14:52,130 --> 00:14:53,009
a terrible shock.

283
00:14:53,010 --> 00:14:53,909
Ah!

284
00:14:53,910 --> 00:14:54,869
Ah!

285
00:14:54,870 --> 00:14:55,749
Ah!

286
00:14:55,750 --> 00:14:56,800
Ah! Ah! Ah!

287
00:14:56,910 --> 00:14:57,960
Ah! Ah!

288
00:14:57,961 --> 00:14:59,809
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Ah! Ah!

289
00:14:59,810 --> 00:15:01,589
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

290
00:15:01,590 --> 00:15:02,329
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

291
00:15:02,330 --> 00:15:03,189
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

292
00:15:03,190 --> 00:15:04,240
Ah! Ah!

293
00:15:04,241 --> 00:15:04,829
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

294
00:15:04,830 --> 00:15:05,880
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

295
00:15:07,110 --> 00:15:08,160
Ah

296
00:15:19,790 --> 00:15:21,290
Control yourself. Now, hang on.

297
00:15:21,291 --> 00:15:24,129
There is only one, isn't there? Oh, I
think so.

298
00:15:24,130 --> 00:15:27,469
Oh, it's all right. All we've got to do
is wait for Mike and he's ready to get

299
00:15:27,470 --> 00:15:29,730
back. Do you think Mike knew she had it?

300
00:15:29,731 --> 00:15:32,769
Of course. It's obvious, isn't it? I
mean, she used it in her act. She dances

301
00:15:32,770 --> 00:15:33,609
with it.

302
00:15:33,610 --> 00:15:35,110
How can you dance with a snake?

303
00:15:35,430 --> 00:15:36,510
They haven't any feet.

304
00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:41,050
It wraps itself around her.

305
00:15:41,051 --> 00:15:44,389
So that proves that it can't be all that
dangerous. Oh, can't it? You haven't

306
00:15:44,390 --> 00:15:46,920
seen it, have you? It's got dirty great
teeth on it.

307
00:15:46,921 --> 00:15:50,089
Snakes don't have teeth, you fool.
You're thinking of crocodiles.

308
00:15:50,090 --> 00:15:51,890
Perhaps it's the crocodile's thing.

309
00:15:52,270 --> 00:15:53,320
They have feet.

310
00:15:53,530 --> 00:15:55,150
You could dance with a crocodile.

311
00:15:55,151 --> 00:15:57,169
Look, it's a snake. I've been telling
you.

312
00:15:57,170 --> 00:15:58,510
It could be a python.

313
00:15:58,710 --> 00:16:01,930
I think pythons have got teeth. But they
haven't got feet.

314
00:16:02,650 --> 00:16:08,389
Stop nattering all the time. Give me
time to think. Hang on a minute. Where

315
00:16:08,390 --> 00:16:08,889
you going?

316
00:16:08,890 --> 00:16:11,709
I'm going to put the kettle on. You stay
here. You go put the kettle on.

317
00:16:11,710 --> 00:16:13,690
Right, now where's the key to that door?

318
00:16:13,691 --> 00:16:17,239
Right, well, I'll just open the door for
a second and I'll whip the key out.

319
00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:18,939
You'll have your blooming hand off.

320
00:16:18,940 --> 00:16:20,320
In that case, I won't bother.

321
00:16:20,660 --> 00:16:22,520
But the window will be open.

322
00:16:22,521 --> 00:16:25,539
Couldn't get out of that window, could
it? Well, they got out the basket,

323
00:16:25,540 --> 00:16:26,590
they?

324
00:17:13,270 --> 00:17:15,239
won't do anything.

325
00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:16,499
He'll have to ring the zoo.

326
00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:18,800
I think we should ring the zoo and the
police.

327
00:17:19,140 --> 00:17:20,359
I am not ringing anybody.

328
00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:22,910
Why? Because the bloody phone is in the
old.

329
00:17:24,020 --> 00:17:25,070
Oh, Sid.

330
00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:26,450
We're surrounded.

331
00:17:26,451 --> 00:17:27,858
Hang on.

332
00:17:27,859 --> 00:17:28,920
Sit down. Sit down.

333
00:17:29,420 --> 00:17:30,470
Keep calm.

334
00:17:30,471 --> 00:17:32,319
Let me see if I can think of something.

335
00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:33,519
I'll get this sorted out.

336
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:34,570
Hang on.

337
00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:35,810
Now then.

338
00:17:36,460 --> 00:17:38,940
Have you thought of anything, Sid? No.

339
00:17:39,220 --> 00:17:40,270
Have you?

340
00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:52,130
Who do we signal to?

341
00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:54,480
Anybody who's passing by.

342
00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:56,620
Right. Who knows Morse code?

343
00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:58,770
Nobody, Sid.

344
00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:01,180
Somebody passing by might.

345
00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:04,459
You're beginning to sound more like your
mother every day.

346
00:18:04,460 --> 00:18:06,140
She's doing her best, then.

347
00:18:06,780 --> 00:18:07,830
Daddy! What?

348
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,440
What about the fudgee?

349
00:18:11,100 --> 00:18:12,440
Does he know Morse code?

350
00:18:13,980 --> 00:18:17,160
No, no, no, no. She must try a little
message round his leg.

351
00:18:36,940 --> 00:18:37,990
to be much of a fight.

352
00:18:37,991 --> 00:18:42,319
Well, perhaps it's not too late, Daddy.
Perhaps you could still save him. Yeah,

353
00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:44,239
and see, while you're down there, ring
the police.

354
00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:45,620
Wait a minute, wait a minute.

355
00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:47,440
I've got a better idea.

356
00:18:47,620 --> 00:18:51,350
What? Tomorrow morning, I'll phone the
pet shop and order another budgie.

357
00:18:51,351 --> 00:18:55,699
I'll tell you what, I'll make a cup of
tea, then I'll come up and help you

358
00:18:55,700 --> 00:18:57,620
All right, thank you, Jason. Brilliant.

359
00:18:57,621 --> 00:19:01,399
Look, somebody's got to go, see? Better
you'll wonder where I am.

360
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:02,840
All right, all right.

361
00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:08,780
What you need, Sid, is some sort of
protective clothing.

362
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:10,900
What I need is a Churchill tank.

363
00:19:13,980 --> 00:19:15,030
Boom!

364
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:17,770
Jason's gone.

365
00:19:17,860 --> 00:19:19,760
I know. I've just seen him. Where?

366
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:22,510
Down there, in that hole under the
floorboard.

367
00:19:22,860 --> 00:19:23,910
Oh, poor darling.

368
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:26,020
Somebody must have frightened him.

369
00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:28,520
Somebody must have frightened him?

370
00:19:28,521 --> 00:19:32,319
Well, I need some music to lure him out
and my tape recorder's broken.

371
00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:33,680
Hang on. I'll try and fix it.

372
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:35,140
I must be raving mad.

373
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:36,450
There you are, see?

374
00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:43,440
Can you see all right?

375
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:46,930
Just about.

376
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:50,110
There's a right twit if anybody sees me
like this.

377
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:53,220
Nobody can see you, Sid, except the
snake.

378
00:19:53,431 --> 00:19:55,339
Thank you.

379
00:19:55,340 --> 00:19:56,390
There you are, Daddy.

380
00:19:56,931 --> 00:19:59,019
What's this for?

381
00:19:59,020 --> 00:20:00,080
To defend yourself.

382
00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:01,770
Oh, I see.

383
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:04,990
So if I get one of the rings over his
head, I win a box of chocolate.

384
00:20:04,991 --> 00:20:07,719
Hey, dear, you throw the curtain over
him. And then what?

385
00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:09,579
Well, you hit him one with the curtain
rod.

386
00:20:09,580 --> 00:20:10,680
Only don't hurt him.

387
00:20:10,681 --> 00:20:15,679
I'll do my best, because he's probably
fatally injured already from fighting

388
00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:16,730
budgie.

389
00:20:17,900 --> 00:20:19,240
I meant the curtain rod.

390
00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:21,490
Thank you, too.

391
00:20:55,151 --> 00:20:56,979
Mrs. Abbott.

392
00:20:56,980 --> 00:20:58,030
Mr. Abbott.

393
00:20:58,700 --> 00:21:00,580
We had an urgent telephone call.

394
00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:01,920
Oh, yeah. Come in. Quick.

395
00:21:02,180 --> 00:21:03,230
Quick, quick.

396
00:21:03,231 --> 00:21:06,999
Somebody must have seen it and told you
to come round.

397
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,050
Oh.

398
00:21:09,360 --> 00:21:12,420
Excuse me. It's your wife's idea, just
in case it went for me.

399
00:21:12,660 --> 00:21:13,710
Oh.

400
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:21,060
Who are you exactly? The 24 -hour
destruction service.

401
00:21:21,580 --> 00:21:22,900
Destruction service? Yes.

402
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:24,990
Oh. And you've come to kill it, have
you?

403
00:21:25,100 --> 00:21:26,960
But that's the general idea, sir, yes.

404
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:29,200
I'm not so sure we want it killed.

405
00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:31,380
Well, what do you want me to do with it?

406
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:35,250
Well, I mean, I thought you might
capture it, sort of, and take it away.

407
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:40,890
Capture it?

408
00:21:41,580 --> 00:21:43,640
Oh, no, sir, no. It has to be killed.

409
00:21:43,641 --> 00:21:46,279
That's the only way that you'll get rid
of it.

410
00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:49,470
Oh. Oh, well, you know best. How do you
go about it, then? Shoot it?

411
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:53,180
No, we poison it.

412
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:55,160
Are you? Yes, sir.

413
00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:56,980
Could you tell me where it is?

414
00:21:58,760 --> 00:21:59,810
Came back. Eh?

415
00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:02,570
I think.

416
00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:07,290
It's in there.

417
00:22:10,100 --> 00:22:13,180
Well, uh... After you, sir.

418
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:17,800
After you. No, no, I'd sooner go out
after you.

419
00:22:22,581 --> 00:22:25,659
Can you tell me where it is, sir?

420
00:22:25,660 --> 00:22:27,100
I don't know where it is, mate.

421
00:22:27,260 --> 00:22:28,310
Could be anywhere.

422
00:22:28,740 --> 00:22:30,360
You mean it's all over the house?

423
00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:32,980
No, no, no, there's only one of them.

424
00:22:36,380 --> 00:22:38,850
One? Yeah, well, blimey, it's enough,
isn't it?

425
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:42,040
Look, sir, I'll tell you what I'll do.

426
00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:44,390
I'll come back tomorrow if you don't
mind.

427
00:22:44,391 --> 00:22:47,459
Stay right here, mate, I want to deal
with it. All right, don't panic, don't

428
00:22:47,460 --> 00:22:48,510
panic.

429
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:50,050
I'll deal with it.

430
00:22:52,360 --> 00:22:54,100
A friend of mine, he got bitten by it.

431
00:22:57,380 --> 00:22:58,430
Bitten? Yes.

432
00:22:59,020 --> 00:23:00,100
Oh, no, sir, no.

433
00:23:00,300 --> 00:23:03,610
No, no. If your friend was bitten, it
must have been something else.

434
00:23:03,611 --> 00:23:07,519
What do you mean, something else? Well,
you know, something else. I mean,

435
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:10,410
perhaps your friend should have had his
house fumigated.

436
00:23:11,580 --> 00:23:12,960
What are you talking about?

437
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:14,900
Oh, Mr.

438
00:23:15,180 --> 00:23:16,230
Abbott, I'm sorry.

439
00:23:16,231 --> 00:23:17,579
I should blimmin' think so.

440
00:23:17,580 --> 00:23:19,379
They'll come all the way here to kill
it.

441
00:23:19,380 --> 00:23:21,200
No, don't you dare. It's all right.

442
00:23:22,710 --> 00:23:23,760
It's all right.

443
00:23:24,430 --> 00:23:25,480
It's all right.

444
00:23:26,110 --> 00:23:28,950
You don't have to worry. She can deal
with it, can't she?

445
00:23:29,450 --> 00:23:30,770
Yes, of course she can.

446
00:23:30,771 --> 00:23:34,209
Oh, it's all right. It's under the
floor. I'm going to lure it out for some

447
00:23:34,210 --> 00:23:35,260
music.

448
00:23:38,170 --> 00:23:39,750
That's much the best way, music.

449
00:23:41,290 --> 00:23:43,570
Music. Very good, sir. Is it? Oh, good.

450
00:23:44,230 --> 00:23:46,850
Well, I think I'll say goodnight, sir.

451
00:23:47,450 --> 00:23:49,560
Goodnight. Thank you very much for
coming.

452
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:55,579
I tell you something, I think he was
dead scared on it. Oh, Mr Abbott,

453
00:23:55,580 --> 00:23:59,319
nothing to be scared of. Oh, I knew
that, yes. But the thing is, I need

454
00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:02,699
My tape recorder's broken, and Mike's in
the garage trying to mend it.

455
00:24:02,700 --> 00:24:06,010
We've got a record player. Will that do?
Oh, fine. All right, come on.

456
00:24:07,700 --> 00:24:08,960
Ah, this will do.

457
00:24:09,220 --> 00:24:10,460
He likes modern jazz.

458
00:24:10,510 --> 00:24:15,060
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